They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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