i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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