Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
