my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
