It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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