How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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