Whod you bang
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
