I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
