I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
