I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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