At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
