sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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