bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
