"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
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Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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