Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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