you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
