We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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