there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
