He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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