I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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