I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
