can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
