so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
