last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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