guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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