Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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