i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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