Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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