worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize