I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
People in love make me want to vomit
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
