What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
