I'm eating all of the evidence.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
