I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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