Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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