She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize