I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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