So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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