He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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