I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
