You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
