P.S. I can't hear my feet
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
