I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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