She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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