I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
