the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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