My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
