spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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