my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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