"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize