but the lizard people decide everything anyway
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
