we're chasing vodka with high fives
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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