I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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