nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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