im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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