Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
