i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
