I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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