Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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