Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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