Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
