If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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