Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
