3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
