I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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