The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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