So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Are my feet made of real feet?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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