I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
