put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
