you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize