I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
